Woe's Woe

Nocterror

2007-08-24T16:24:00.000Z

(adj. Nocterrorised)

A kind of lonesomeness bordering on panic, caused by lying awake at night. There may be others in the room, or in the same bed, but they will be asleep. One is left with one's thoughts and the sounds coming from outside. Nocterror is distinct from insomnia in that it can occur in the short time before a sound night's rest. The two combined make Insomnocterrorismia.

Repustress

2006-11-01T21:04:00.000Z

(adj. Repustressed)

Suffering caused by the belief that people are saying things behind your back that are not intended to be malicious, but are nevertheless misguided.

Fanscrutiny

2006-10-16T19:26:00.000Z

(adj. Fanscrutinous)

Suffering caused by an overly keen interest in the affairs of someone you dislike, especially in their successes. This could be a celebrity, or an old school rival, say.

Endorphertigo

2006-10-04T16:43:00.000Z

(adj. Endorphertigone)

Suffering caused by the feeling that one is being lulled over the edge of the emotional chasm, that the next unexpected setback or flicker of bad news will be the straw that does for the camel, will send them plummeting into breakdown territory.

Onanihilism

2006-09-29T11:27:00.000Z

(adj. Onanihilismic)

Suffering caused by a period of sustained self-reflection when not in a mood of stupendous arrogance or bristling confidence.

"Forced to wait 18 hours at the airport, Robin quickly devoured all useful reading material and could not fight off the impending onanihilism."

Hypersensitivity to Mercy (HTM)

2006-09-27T12:32:00.000Z

(adj. Mercy-Hyper)

Suffering caused by overwhelming gratitude for small kindnesses, especially those that are bestowed upon you unawares by people who think little of what they are doing. An example might be a compliment.

"She said I could use my bike if I wanted, which struck me dumb. She asked what was wrong, and I explained that I was mercy-hyper."

Mullmort

2006-09-22T10:32:00.000Z

(adj. Mullmortrous)

Suffering caused by trying to imagine what death would be like.

Rankthrill

2006-09-14T10:10:00.000Z

(adj. Rankthrillid)

Suffering caused by pleasure rapidly souring. An example might be meeting someone you remember fondly only to find they have changed for the worse, or the pleasure of physical contact that, it immediately dawns on you, was an accident. Rankthrill tends to be more intense the more unexpected the pleasure.

"I received a textmessage, but - rankthrill ahoy! - it was from that bilgerat Robin."

Egomutiny

2006-09-11T11:23:00.000Z

(adj. Egomutinous)

Suffering caused by the belief that one is, perhaps subconsciously, or else through the whims of fate, sabotaging one's own fortune, and the accompanying dread that oneself is the cause of all one's suffering. This is arguably encouraged by numerous fragments of religious and philosophical reason that contend a person has total power to change their life for the better. Ironically, these are usually intended to spur a positive emotional response.

"As I stared into my drink and pondered my run of recent bad luck, I began to feel uncomfortably responsible for my present situation. This soon progressed to outright egomutiny."

Enviroboxing

2006-09-08T11:29:00.000Z

(adj. Enviroboxic)

Suffering caused by being prevented from expressing feelings of anxiety (or other kinds of suffering) due to social circumstance, rather than reluctance or inability. There are numerous possible causes. An example might be if a person is highly irritating, but saying so would only cause trouble. Another example might be if one is alone.

"I've told everyone I know about the torturous feelings I have for Agatha. They are all tired of hearing about it, and have reached the end of their sympathy, yet I yearn to say more. I am becoming enviroboxic!"

Epiphantasm

2006-09-05T12:27:00.000Z

(adj. Epiphantasmic. This describes the experience itself, however, rather than how the sufferer feels. One is said to 'have an Epiphantasm'.)

An acute suffering caused by the (always false) impression that one's whole life has 'gone wrong', that one has followed a false sign some way back and that nearly everything needs to be changed in order to rectify the situation. The impression usually dawns quite suddenly during a period of negative brooding and convinces the sufferer that any pleasurable occasions they recall were little more than moments of denial during a steady descent into despair. The feeling can be so strong that the sufferer considers drastic measures such as leaving home, destroying all ties, even suicide.

An epiphantasm is frequently caused by a minor or temporary trauma that is difficult to pin down. It is distinct from the multiplicity of sufferings one endures when one's whole life has truly 'gone wrong' and thus it is important to learn to recognise one.

Invisibully

2006-09-02T09:09:00.000Z

(adj. Invisibullyish)

Suffering caused by the belief that someone would hardly notice, or not notice at all, if you set out to ignore them. Also, suffering caused by evidence of this.

"Jeez, she's barely said a word to me for days. It's enough to make a guy feel invisibullyish."

Efficiency-of-Mortality Anxiety, or 'E.M.A'

2006-09-01T12:24:00.000Z

(adj. E.M.A'd up)

Suffering caused by the belief that you are wasting more time (and ergo more of your life) than you are using sensibly. For a workaholic, this might mean not producing enough measurable output, while other sufferers may simply feel they do not spend enough time enjoying themselves or embracing life.

"The worst thing about feeling suicidally depressed is that I've also been completely E.M.A'd up recently."

Alacrityranny

2006-08-23T13:45:00.000Z

(adj. Alacrityrannised)

Suffering caused by time seemingly moving on more rapidly.

"Suddenly, it was three o'clock in the afternoon and I hadn't even had breakfast, or had a shower, or put my dressing gown on. I bit my nails and shivered with alacrityranny."

Lentopression

2006-08-20T13:54:00.000Z

(adj. Lentopressed)

Suffering caused by time seemingly moving on more slowly.

"Menial labour is made all the more tiring by the widespread lentopression suffered by the workforce."

Fool's Guilt

2006-08-19T13:01:00.000Z

(adj. Foolguilty)

Suffering caused by having to refuse a request, particularly from someone in need.

"Robin asked if I could keep him company tonight while he begs on the street, but I already promised Joe I'd meet him at the pub. I feel well foolguilty."

Pessimisery

2006-08-16T11:53:00.000Z

(adj. Pessimiserable)

Suffering caused by the belief that there can be no outcome of the present dilemma other than more suffering.

We'll be back after this

2006-08-11T11:07:00.000Z

Woe's Woe is taking a few days off while I recuperate.

Thespasm

2006-08-10T11:24:00.000Z

(adj. Thespasmic)

Suffering caused by being forced to act in a false (usually upbeat) manner in order to expediate a painful process. An example might be: a meeting with a person in authority who gives a clear indication that they will not linger if everything is ship-shape. Another example might be: engaging in a conversation with a stranger when you're not in the mood.

"Guess what? I met Robin in the street the other day. It was a pretty thespasm-inducing situation."

Destinagony

2006-08-09T12:26:00.000Z

(adj. Destinagonised)

Suffering caused by not knowing what is expected of you.

"'Look,' she explained. The thing is, I'm really into rustic sex.' Robin felt uncontrollably destinagonised."

Malconfidence

2006-08-08T14:45:00.000Z

(adj. Malconfident)

Suffering caused by knowing what is expected of you and that you may not be able to deliver. The obvious example would be an exam, but the term usually applies to situations where failure is deemed to be unlikely, or where the sufferer is the only one aware of the 'test', so a better example would be cooking a simple dish or entertaining guests.

"Remembering she liked to be dominated, Robin said, 'Take your knickers off and lie on the bed'. She stared at him, bemused. Robin began to feel malconfident."

Brevenity

2006-08-07T09:43:00.000Z

(adj. Brevene)

Suffering caused by the transient nature of an immediate and desired situation. An example might be: if two people in an ‘unrequited love’ scenario are sitting next to one another. For the pursuer, this is a sought after arrangement, yet it is not likely to last.

"The radio at the front of the bus suddenly went dead, and I experienced a feeling of brevenity as one of the passengers volunteered to fix it."

Numbsnap

2006-08-06T20:06:00.000Z

(adj. Numbsnapped)

Suffering caused by immediate, intense regret following a seemingly innocuous action. An example might be if you have just revealed a deep-seated and unsettling truth in the heat of the moment.

"As soon as I had posted the application form a familiar feeling of numbsnap overcame me."

Abrusion

2006-08-04T10:24:00.000Z

(adj. Abrused)

Suffering caused by the belief that you should be enjoying something, but are not. The obvious example would be bad sex, but this could equally apply to the majority of television shows.

"I warn you now - I may leave half way through. I seem to have been experiencing quite a lot of abrusion lately."

Faughstalkery

2006-08-03T08:48:00.000Z

(adj. Faughstalked)

Suffering caused by being in the presence of someone who has little or no respect for you.

"The Prime Minister delivered his speech in halting, jerking clauses, and had about him the troubled look of a faughstalked man."

Recodandance

2006-08-02T12:31:00.000Z

(adj. Recodandant)

Suffering experienced when a long-anticipated moment arrives, only to be tainted with regret and uncertainty.

"Much as I hated my job, when it finally came time to clear my desk I felt positively recodandant."

Quacity

2006-08-01T20:22:00.000Z

(adj. Quacious)

Suffering caused by a feeling of disconnection with everyone around you. Not as extreme as LONELINESS, but nevertheless trying. An example might be if you are the only man in a room full of women talking about injuries caused by new shoes.

"The party was awful. I just stood in a corner, nursing a Stella, feeling unutterably quacious as the host brushed by."